Kara Lee Burk's Guide to Cover Letters

(I wrote this a while ago. Was clearing out some stuff, so I thought I'd add it to my blog. Don't take it as advice, as I'm currently a temp, so I can be of little help to anyone...myself included. ;) )

GENERIC GREETING
Dear ____ ,
a. Recruiter
b. Mr. or Mrs. ___ (make sure you know if they are male or female...)
c. Sir or Madam (see note to "b.")
d. Rich Uncle Wentworth (but, let's face it, if had a rich uncle, you wouldn't need to write a cover letter in the first place)

OPENING PARAGRAPH - POW!
Hit them with a brilliant first line. Trusting you don't have your own personal salesman who will e-mail them, call them, show up eerily on their doorstep at 3 am telling them how awesome you truly are and how they should really take the time to look over your stuff, you have to keep them reading…

SECOND PARAGRAPH – Deja vu? (or…isn't this the same stuff that's on my resume?!)
Consider it the "Best of" your resume. Highlight the really good stuff, but more importantly how it (and you) is exactly what the company needs and is looking for. Perhaps something like this:

"…5 years very relevant experience…After graduating from a very prestigious university I began working with the best of the best company in my field as a highly impressive position…and earned the very impressive award for a very noteworthy work…and so on and so forth…"

(like when used in movie reviews the "…" gets to the good stuff. For Seinfeld fans, feel free to replace the "…" with "yada, yada, yada")

CLOSING PARAGRAPH – You have a little something brown on your nose…
Profusely thank the reader of the cover letter. Thanks to our present economy they will be reading a lot of cover letters, if you were lucky enough to grab them with your afore mentioned "Brilliant first line", you don't want to lose them at the end of the letter by letting your eagerness cross the line into over-eagerness. Simply: You have one little paragraph to prove to the reader that you are fully qualified but not over qualified, talented but not cocky, one-of-a-kind but able to collaborate in the creative process, team player but a good leader, level-headed, grounded….oh. and don't forget to be totally honest and modest.

SIGNATURE – Choose your own adventure
A. Sincerely
B. Yours Truly
C. Thank you, thanks, thanks again!! (see over-eager)
D. none
E. All of the Above

of vocab and Transformers...

Remember in elementary school when you had weekly vocab lists for spelling? Sometimes themed, sometimes random words that used similar spelling techniques (“I” before “e” and all that).

Regardless, sometimes you had to write sentences with them, sometimes you had to make a little word search for them. And, sometimes….sometimes you had to make a story. To press these 20 or so words into a one-page story, was a challenge. And, often a bit of a stretch and didn’t quite make sense…but, cheesy as it was, I loved it -- To see how you can form a story around words you HAD to use.

And, now a grown-up…years past spelling tests and one-page stories, I can’t help but appreciate a new form of vocab word story. Of course, now the vocab words consists of brand names. Things like:

Hasbro
Chevy
Camaro
Hummer
Xbox
Nokia
…Transformers

Sure, you can work them together, and write a story. And, there’s something somewhat impressive, you may even get a good grade (or make a lot of money)…but it’s a bit of stretch. And cheesy as it is…I still kinda love it –to see how they form a story around products they HAVE to use.

...by the time you read these lines I'll be gone...

Dear New York,

I love you...as a city. But, I'm not in love with you anymore.

I thought we'd be together forever. I imagined growing old with you walking down your streets and watching us both change and grow...And, really, who knows? As our paths have diverged for now, maybe someday we could be together again. But, for now...it's best if I leave you.

Every time I see you with your other lovers, I realize you love them in a way you don't love me anymore. They're lucky to have you, and I can't say I'm not jealous when I see you together.

It's not you, it's me. I think we both know that we've been growing apart for a while now. My heart used to race at the mere thought of you, spending late nights alone with you and days walking with you, you felt like home. But, then something changed, we grew apart. My path took me away from you, and it hurt that you didn't try to get me back.

I thought L.A. was a fling, but it's more than that.

I still think I see you everywhere, every movie, every tv show, you're always there, when I walk around the lot on lunch, I keep thinking I see see you in the city facades, and when I turn, you're gone. How can I get over you, when you're everywhere I go?

So, good-bye (for now?)

Love,
me

Unemployed Housewife seeks Job

Has it really come to this? I recently came across this resume...

RESUME
XXXXXXX XXXXX
Phone: XXX - XXX - XXXX
E-mail: XXXXXXXX@XXXXX.com

GOAL: Seeking employment as a housewife.

EXPERIENCE
Chef

• Cooking with passion for healthy and delicious meals
• Creating daily menu plan
• Baking for special occasions
• Specialist in Midwestern comfort food

Interior Decorator

• Creating a stylish yet comfortable home environment
• Designing and shopping on a tight budget
• Basic carpentry skills
  

Party Planner

• Conceiving and implementing of party occasion / theme
  
• Martha Stewart inspired hostess
• Creating a full-menu with attention to detail
  

Child Rearing

• Maintaining a stable, loving yet firm childhood for offspring
• Conceiving and implementing fun and educational activities for kids age 0-18
• Over 15 years professional babysitting experience

Lover

• Creating passion and excitement in the bedroom
• Saving herself for you!

EDUCATION
Apprenticeship with Mom (winner of the best mom ever award 28 years running)
School of Martha Stewart – Graduate.

SKILLS
Shopping, crafts, lunching, valid driver’s license.

OTHER EXPERIENCE
Volunteering, day job, gardening.

Conception Day Party

I didn’t tell anyone, but yesterday was a very big day. Perhaps the most important day of my life…

You see, my birthday is September 10th, yesterday was January 10th – that’s right all you math whizzes, January 10th is my Conception Day! (shh…science whizzes, I don’t want to hear you talking about how most women aren’t pregnant exactly 9 months…let me have my day!)

I want a party celebrating the zygot I was! So, let’s party womb style!

So where’s my fetus cake? My pin the sperm on the egg? My mom regaling the day when she and my dad….eww! Gross…yuck! (recoiling in horror and trying not to barf)

Ah...okay, now I know why we don’t have Conception Day Parties, because that would be admitting our parents had sex (so maybe I’ll plan a Stork Day party because my parents never did it.)

…but playing pin the sperm on the egg would still be pretty fun….

Temping is a lot like dating...

Temping is a lot like dating…

• It’s a lot of sitting by the phone,hoping and wishing it would ring.

• You always go in with high hopes thinking this could be something good, something lasting, something fulfilling…It’s not .

• It sucks! At least today…but tomorrow could be stellar, and I could find my one true job! One true job? Wait…uh...hmm, I guess I’m not ready to commit. :)

At least dating has some potential benefits... ;)

Double Feature

After class yesterday, a couple of the guys and I went to the movies. The movie we were planning on seeing was sold out for the showtime we wanted, so we decided to do a Double Feature. I consider it training for Sundance. Here's the movies and my thoughts (not a review, just my silly ponderings)

DREAMGIRLS - Thank you for making Detroit look good! (Okay, so there were the riots and the ghost town-ness of it today, but it still brought to surface all my love for that city.) The beautiful architecture, the characters, the passion for the arts, this is the Detroit I love! (Of course there's also the swindlers, the sellouts...hell, today I love them too...but don't ask me tomorrow)

CHILDREN OF MEN - Like 28 Days Later, without the zombies. Of course I also went to the whole spiritual/philosophical meaning of everything...like baby Jesus...I mean Dylan...To me, it showed how it's human nature to turn a non-political figure (uh...a non-partisian BABY) into a political hero/enemy/commidity, but just 'cause it's nature doesn't make it right... the world needs hope not a political agenda.