Unemployed Housewife seeks Job

Has it really come to this? I recently came across this resume...

RESUME
XXXXXXX XXXXX
Phone: XXX - XXX - XXXX
E-mail: XXXXXXXX@XXXXX.com

GOAL: Seeking employment as a housewife.

EXPERIENCE
Chef

• Cooking with passion for healthy and delicious meals
• Creating daily menu plan
• Baking for special occasions
• Specialist in Midwestern comfort food

Interior Decorator

• Creating a stylish yet comfortable home environment
• Designing and shopping on a tight budget
• Basic carpentry skills
  

Party Planner

• Conceiving and implementing of party occasion / theme
  
• Martha Stewart inspired hostess
• Creating a full-menu with attention to detail
  

Child Rearing

• Maintaining a stable, loving yet firm childhood for offspring
• Conceiving and implementing fun and educational activities for kids age 0-18
• Over 15 years professional babysitting experience

Lover

• Creating passion and excitement in the bedroom
• Saving herself for you!

EDUCATION
Apprenticeship with Mom (winner of the best mom ever award 28 years running)
School of Martha Stewart – Graduate.

SKILLS
Shopping, crafts, lunching, valid driver’s license.

OTHER EXPERIENCE
Volunteering, day job, gardening.